• 1. Almost anything can be "Dirty"
• 2. Always carry a book, you never know when you'll need it
• 3. Oy with the poodles already!
• 4. God lives in London
• 5. Coffee is essential for survival
• 6. Swans are vicious birds
• 7. Snow is magical
• 8. The difference between cows and humans is hay
• 9. Childbirth is like doing the splits on a case of dynamite
• 10. The fish flies at night
• 11. If you walk with a Harry Potter book on your head and drop the book, Harry will die
• 12. The answer to problems in the Mid-east is, "I have to poop"
• 13. Never buy something just because it's furry
• 14. Stay away from windows when drinking
• 15. Copper Boom!
• 16. It's much better to have a haunted leg than a cold
• 17. Booze is grown-up milk and cookies
• 18. When stuck in a hopeless situation, climb out the balcony window
• 19. Answer the pepperoni
• 20. Beware of Jeep-hitting deer
• 21. Dressing up in a cute little maid costume is as close as any self-respecting girl needs to get to cleaning up
• 22. The four food groups consist of fast food, junk food, frozen food & take out

I've Learned from the Gilmores

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